Striving for something more.

I have been sitting on a feeling for a while now.
It is a feeling of wanting to break free and fly, but somehow being held back.

There is a part of me that is very caring and nurturing. That is the part of me that looks out for others.
This part of me would never leave a fallen comrade.

Lately, I have been noticing a very disgruntled red woman..or "inner mongrel". When I ease off, this part of me is absolutely shitty for days. It wants to stamp and yell and push people out of the way. It is truly ferral, and a little scary.

A bit more scary and less hippy, but free none the less :)

Ok, so on Sunday I did my very first City 2 Surf. Am I happy I did it? No, not really. I have to be honest. I am damn disappointed. My ferral red woman self wanted to run.I practically walked the entire course bar a small jog here and there amounting to no more than 1km out of 14!
 My wild woman could feel the exhilaration of the cool air and how much easier the terrain was that she had planned for. How the crowd was not scary, but quite calm and very civilised and she was primed and ready for action.

However, the civilised me, had planned to do the race with a friend.
On the day, I am unsure wether it was lack of training or general lack of fitness, or not being in touch with her inner mongrel, but her best was not my best.

I am kicking myself for not standing up for myself. I let someone else do their best on the day, at the expense of my best on the day.
Why do I let others hold me back? What , in all this mental overhaul I have done, has been neglected? Why can I not put myself first and say, "Sorry Hun, I have to run"?

I spent the whole race, or "walk in the park", trying to put on my "It's ok"face.

I had all my family and friends putting congratulations on my facebook, so proud of me, but I am not proud of myself because this is my first go at this too. I have a strong work ethic when it comes to training. I work hard. I want to know what my true result could have been. It was the opportunity to test my skill, and I failed to get an acurate result...infact I paid $110 for the priviledge to waste my opportunity until next year.

I am soo dissappointed and frustrated.
I dont want to be anti social, but I really need to try my best. Why can't I be stronger when it counts??
Why am I still putting other people before myself?

A wise friend once told me that it is not your job to pull others along on your journey, but welcome those that wish to run along side you with open arms. I guess I need to just start running and see who will still be happy for me at the end.

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Just finishing is enough sometimes.

By the time you read this, I'll be sitting in a lecture room in Loftus trying to scramble my way through a Greek exam. Those Greek exams are becoming awfully familiar to me. They show up every few months and I push through them with often good results because I know how hard I need to work to get the marks I want.

This Greek exam takes place two days after city2surf does, and if you were wondering, I'm not half as prepared for city2surf as I am for the Greek exam. My health - both physical and mental - has been rocky lately and so my focus has shifted from living to simply surviving, and there are times when that's okay to do. Survival mode isn't the end of the world - it just sort of is.

The date for exams don't change with my readiness, and neither does the date for city2surf. Right now - when I'm writing this on a Thursday night - I'm feeling oddly okay with it. My goal is simple. My goal is to finish. My goal is to add a finisher's medal to my little collection.

I suppose my goals should be loftier and bigger, but honestly, at the moment, I know that to finish is enough. I know that plodding along at a slow pace is better than not moving at all. I know that memorizing one Greek vocabulary word at a time is enough to get me through an exam. I know that one footstep is enough to get me a bit closer to the finish line.

And now, as I'm sure you know, I'm not talking about Greek or city2surf. I'm talking about life and fitness and health and... whatever else you want me to be talking about.

What pace are you going at right now?

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Food Glorious Food!

Food Glorious Food!

So here's the deal - I'm at my goal weight and focussing on maintaining it. I didn't sign up for Round 2, but I have been continuing to eat well and train...well I haven't really trained all that much lately (have been sick for a few weeks now) & food, well I've started to let old habits creep back in.


I generally eat well during the week - cereal for breakfast, wraps for lunch, healthy snacks in between and 12WBT meals for dinner. Weekends I relax a little and I allow myself a treat meal on a Saturday night, but the last 2 weekends I've been a little too relaxed!

"I'm at my goal weight so I can eat this" is what I've been telling myself to justisy my food selections of late...

• Regular quarter pounder meal....yes I ate the fries & had the fizzy drink
• Pizza...um I think I had 4 or 5 slices all up
• 4 biscuits with my cup of tea
• Pancakes for breakfast
• 2 white bread rolls for lunch
• 4 slices of fresh bread after already eating dinner

Then Weigh-in-Wednesday arrived and the dreaded scales revealed a gain of 1.2kg!! I'm still only 400g over my goal weight, but it is a huge gain for me. I have previously managed to maintain my weight by simply focussing on my nutrition. Yes I'm sick with a cold, yes I haven't been able to train for a few weeks....but I can choose what I eat - I just need to choose the right things!!

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Finding the Balance

These words were posted on the Sydneysider 12wbt page on Facebook by the very wise 

Danielle Renee Reynolds-Collins.

It is a reminder we all need from time to time xx

"YOU HAVE NOT FAILED... if you decide to eat a cupcake at a colleagues birthday after 6 weeks of strict eating.
YOU HAVE NOT FAILED... if you don't turn down that glass of wine with dinner on the weekend.
YOU HAVE NOT FAILED... when you taste test your kids fairy bread before serving it at their birthday.
YOU HAVE NOT FAILED... if you eat a piece of fruit on accelerator day.

...

WELCOME TO LIFE... WELCOME TO BALANCE...

Unless these things actually give you upset stomachs or some medical grievance. Then there is nothing wrong with occasionally enjoying life.
Being obsessed about food and limiting anything from your diet (unless you have an allergy/tolerance) is not healthy. Balance is the key and NOTHING should be off limits. Just because it didn't grow on a tree, run, swim or fly doesn't make it COMPLETELY off limits. No cake at a morning tea with family, no ice-cream on a hot summers day and no meat pie at the footy! Clean eating can become very un-social.

I'm a member of a lot of 12WBT groups, and every day i see people genuinely off track, and then there are others who just slipped up. We are currently receiving lots of new members to the group as pre-round 3 has begun. Please choose your words wisely as we don't want new members scared of failing at the site of an extra 100 calories, or something as healthy as a piece of fruit just because Michelle says its accelerator day.

Stop trying to be perfect, when your best is good enough."

Some more wisdom from Will Smith.
The Key to Life Is Running and Reading......

I  think these all these words are perfect as they are, and I have no more to add this week, other than,

Well done Sally Pearson, and Anna Meares....more inspiring women.

Hope you are having a good week..and good luck for everyone doing their first City 2 Surf on  Sunday. Go Us !!! xxx

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Barbie in a Vice like grip

This is me today. I knew it was coming. I scraped my "Apple" ( my car ) on the side of the garage getting into it last night. My anxiety was flaring like nothing else yesterday and I chose to have a massive binge.

Yes I shall continue to put one foot in front of the other but I'm more than a little irritated with the world - well not really - just generally irritated because as much as I would like it to be it's never going to be as simple as calories in and calories out for me...

..side note...even though I was dizzy last night and off balance this morning I still went and did my Xtend Barre class at 6.30am. Had a major fatigue moment right in the middle, that was a genuine muscle fatigue/giving way moment as opposed to "this is too hard" mind moment.....so grateful that I didn't have to umpire Grade Netball today. My brain was not up to either the movement or running....

...anyway I'm all wrapped up in front of the heater, watching catch up tv and getting to bed really early tonight.

Perhaps I'll be Barbie-esque without a vice on my head then ;)

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Has this changed you?

My mentor of five years sat with me in the food court of Dapto Mall. We'd sat in the same place since we first began meeting together, and she'd walked with me through some of the darkest days of my life. She'd been there when I fell back into self harm in 2009, and sat with me in 2010 when I was kicked out of home - with no words except "you'll get through this. You're not alone.", and in 2011, she sat across from me and we sipped our coffees gingerly, laughing and talking and enjoying each other's company.

"You're different, Tamara." she told me, joy in her tone.
I laughed a little and tried to shrug it off, but she persisted.
"You're smiling, you're laughing, and you look healthy. You're different. What's changed?" she pressed.
My response was an awkward shrug and a small smile. "I did a boxing session this morning, I guess. It was at 5:30, but that meant I could get down here on time."

And it was then that she realised exactly how much in me had shifted - how I was not the same girl she'd spent so many years sitting across from. It was then that I realised how much I'd changed, too. Previously it was a struggle to get out of bed at all.

This has changed me.
I laugh more. I smile more. I work harder. I work faster. I run for fun. I play games. I take up challenges. I care more. I love more.

I'm different.
The woman who mentored me for five years noticed that morning, and daily, I need to make a choice to continue to be different or the old me will creep back in and I do not ever want to be her again.

Has this changed you?

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Light Bulb Moment

Tempt Fate or Faith in Action?

I had a light bulb moment this week.

Monday morning I was driving to work in Sydney peak-hour traffic (oh the joy), and started daydreaming while I was waiting behind the never-ending queue of traffic. I briefly started to think about all things “deep” – love, life, family, happiness, health. What do I want out of life? Where do I see myself in 5 years? What do I want to accomplish?

Ok, so I thought about a lot of things during my brief daydream, but my light bulb moment hit me when I started thinking about how I am going to put my plans into action.

My initial thought was, “Oh Cindy, do you really want to tempt fate again? Just because something works once, there’s no guarantee that it will work again”. And then almost instantly, this thought hit me, “Cindy it’s all about putting faith into action. Fate has nothing to do with it”.

Wow.

Cue light bulb.

donotgiveup.net

This is a principle that we can apply to so many areas of our lives, and it is absolutely perfect for our 12WBT journey. Whether your primary focus is to lose weight, to learn to run, to increase your fitness, to get awesome washboard abs or all of the above, I’ve learnt that having faith is integral to my success.

I completed Round 1 this year and lost a total of 7.9kg during my 12 weeks. Round 2 I am “going it alone”, i.e. I haven’t signed up for the program, but I am following the plans that I received during Round 1. I have managed to lose a further 2.9kg, bringing my total weight loss to 10.8kg. I am at my goal weight, and have been hovering around this “happy place” for the last 9 weeks.

I know that this program works….as long as I follow it.

I know that I feel fantastic after a work out….I just need to schedule it into my diary.

I know that healthy food is fuel for my body....I just need to plan ahead and be organised.

I know I can, and will do this.

Have faith in the program and have faith in yourself. You CAN do this!

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Realism.

No Round 3 for me. 

That's it. I have made the decision.... kind of. I keep going back and forth. I should be able to do this alone. It's not like I won't have you guys! I think I need to try this on my own, I have the tools; the gym membership, cookbooks/recipes, the workout gear, everything except the mindset.


I need to pay for my uni units, and I would like to go overseas next year just for a contiki tour or something. I have been eating much better now, I feel like me not over thinking it is actually helping me. I want to lose weight for my weigh in next Wednesday. Because it's my birthday and I feel like that would be a good present haha!

Being organised is a major one I think, as well as the emotional eating. But knowing what meal I will be eating and when is just so helpful. I don't want my weight to be an issue for the rest of my life. I need to be smart about this. It all comes down to the eating doesn't it, energy in, energy out. My body is heavy... I can burn the energy well. Its the energy I consume that I need to focus on.


I have to be realistic.I am starting uni, I am working a lot. I feel the program takes on too much of my life. Is that an excuse? I actually don't think so. The pressure I put on myself to follow it to a T causes me to stumble. I can do this, I won't disappear. I will stick around and keep pushing myself and still be a part of your lives haha.


I turn 27 next week, and for some reason 27 is a scary age for me. Like... very scary. I am not where I thought I would be at 27. I though't I'd be married to be honest and I'm not but that's OK. I am considering getting a tattoo and not telling anyone until I do it. But I don't know what to get and I would love some thoughts. I just want something small but it is a big deal, I feel I just need something major?


Anyway, that's where I am at. I feel like I suck at blogging these days, I apologise. Life just must be getting boring.













Hot Tip: Use a lip tint on your lips, stains your lips and lasts all day, then just put a clear gloss over the top. FAB!

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The Olympics..A new appreciation

I confess!
Yes, as unpatriotic as it seems, I hated the Olympic Games.
I could not have given a frogs fat arse, who won what medal for what sport.
If I changed tv channels and got the Olympics I would groan.
I hated people who came to work tired because they sat up late watching a sport.
I hated my favourite tv shows being put off for four weeks because of the Olympic Games coverage.
The best thing about the Olympics was Roy and HG with their pisstake commentary on the gymnastics.

How times have changed!!
I hated sport, because I thought I could not do it, and I could not appreciate or identify with anyone who could.

Now, I am glued!
I love it. Regardless of the sport. I take interest in technique. I wonder about the preceeding training regimes.
I look and want to have a go at new sports, and wonder if it would be too late for me to pick up a sport and be an olympian next time....well one can dream:)


I hope you are enjoying and supporting our fellow athletes...I can say that, because I now consider myself one.
Thank You Michelle Bridges, and South West Sydney 12wbt for embracing me and giving me the confidence to try xxxx

Rowing..Australia 2!!!! Yay!!! Punching the air!!!!!! Wooo hoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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KidsMatter

I have been pretty quiet over the last few weeks. As many of you may have read on our SWSyd Facebook page, my daughter suffers from Generalised Anxiety Disorder and last week she moved to a new school. I know we typically write on this blog about our 12WBT journey, but today my post will be on raising awareness of childhood anxiety and depression...an illness that is very often overlooked.

Image via HERE.

Anxiety and depression run in my family and I have watched many of my family members suffer from these disorders. It is crushing to see your loved ones break apart in front of your eyes and watch them struggle from day to day. Watching my daughter suffer from anxiety and being told by her psychologist that she was on the verge of childhood depression absolutely broke my heart. Isabella is only SIX years old, and was diagnosed with her disorder at the age of FOUR. Too young to have to be dealing with these debilitating feelings and sadness, but unfortunately childhood anxiety and depression are on the rise.

The problem is, teachers in our primary schools do not know enough about childhood anxiety and depression. I should know - I am a teacher, and I've seen first hand how a lack of knowledge can disadvantage children suffering from mental illness. Unfortunately unlike a broken arm or a broken leg, mental illness can not be "seen"...and if it's out of sight, it's out of mind.

Well, that is not good enough.

What schools are failing to understand is that mental health and wellbeing is vital for learning and life. Children who are mentally healthy learn better and are better equipped to deal with the transition into adolescence and adulthood. If children struggle with their mental health in the primary school years and it's not dealt with, then it is quite often guarantied that they'll suffer depression later in life.

Some hard facts...

• The early years are a crucial time for growing healthy minds.
• It is estimated that one is seven school-age children has a mental health problem, and only one in four gets the help they need.
• In addition to feeling highly anxious, children’s thinking is usually affected. The threat or danger they are concerned about appears to them to be much greater than it actually is.
• Anxiety can result in physical difficulties such as sleeplessness, stomach aches, headaches, or diarrhoea. It can also involve irritability, difficulty concentrating and tiredness.
• Children with anxiety problems are often quiet and obedient. This can lead to their difficulties being OVERLOOKED.
• Feeling depressed is more than just feeling sad and depression in children is more common than most people would expect.
• Studies carried out in Australia and in the USA have estimated that 3% of children may suffer from depression.

The good news is that there is a program that is raising awareness of mental health in primary schools.

Image via HERE.

KidsMatter Primary is a national collaboration between the education and health sectors. It was jointly developed by the Principals Australia Institute, beyondblue, and the Australian Psychological Society (APS) and Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing.

KidsMatter Primary aims to help:

• improve the mental health and wellbeing of primary school students
• reduce mental health problems in students
• achieve greater support for students with mental health problems and their families.
• nurture happy, balanced kids.

Isabella now attends a KidsMatter primary school. We made the decision to move her to a smaller school and one that truly cares about the mental health of their children. She has settled in quite well and wakes up in the morning wanting to go to school. She is smiling more and is happier. We have a long way to go in helping Isabella deal with her anxiety, but with a strong partnership between school, her psychologist and her loving family, I know we'll get there.

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...in the joyful mess.

'

There are photos that are anything but flattering, but yet, they're the ones that bring a smile to my face without fail. They were taken in moments where laughter mattered more than appearance & my ego slipped away into a corner and stayed there for a while. It's in the mess that I find the most joy. 

I'd always feared exercise because I had this fear of looking silly. I didn't like the thought of puffing and panting by the side of the road during a run, and the mere idea of being in a gym was scary - people much fitter than I would be there and I was sure they would silently be mocking me. Weights were a whole other story. I imagined dropping dumbbells on my feet and tripping over them - landing face first at some muscular guys feet. He'd step over me awkwardly and walk away. 

Yes, I have a very active imagination. 

But these last two years I've spent time in the gym, and running beside the road. I've even conquered my fear of weights rooms. I've been covered in slime twice - once at a kids camp, where a child won the right to tip a bucket of slime and BBQ sauce on my year, and another time at church, when as a fundraiser people voted with cash to decide which youth leader got slimed - I won by $300. 

So loved, right?! 

I've stumbled my way through mud, crawled through mud, tripped into mud, and probably eaten some mud too. 

In these messy moments, I've learnt a lot. But there's one thing that I've learnt above all, and I think you need to hear it just as much as you need to hear how to lose weight: Life is not about being the right number, it's about living. 

Do something that scares you. 

Get covered in slime, and laugh about it. 

Slip and slide in mud and don't worry about looking like a fool. 

Lose weight, yes.

But, more than anything, we need to live. 

For me, life is best lived in this crazy joyful mess.  

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Round 3?

Hey Gang,

How are you all doing this week? I have been so absent the past few weeks that I feel pretty craptastic about it. But I have recognised a pattern, last round... I did this too. I got to about half way and gave up pretty much. This has been worse then the last round I think. I start off strong and lose momentum...fast. I literally don't cope, and I wonder why that is.

I stress out and I eat, I lose focus. I get tired when I am super stressed... and I battle to manage the chaos that is my life. I move tomorrow which is exciting, I feel I will be more settled here. It is quieter, and I have more space for me oh and I don't have to fight for a kitchen which is great. I will also be living with my bro, and he is a pretty fit guy as well and will want me to fill the fridge with healthy food.

So what do I do? Do I sign up for Round 3, potentially waste my money? Or do I attempt to do this on my own? A part of me wants to do it... Whilst my knee has gotten increasingly worse (requiring an MRI) I know that exercise isn't the biggest part. Eating is.

I would love to know your thoughts guys, and if you made the decision to go into Round 3 or not?

Thanks,

LOVE LOVE!


Hot Tip: For a cool shopping list idea, paint your fridge with chalkboard paint :)

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Split personality?

Image from here

...well not quite...

For most of my life I've struggled with opposing sides to my personality.

There is one side that kinda likes to achieve goals and be the best at something, to stand in the limelight a bit, to be affirmed by others that I respect for my acheivements or just for who I am and who likes to be involved.

And then there is the other side that doesn't like to make more of myself than I am, that prefers to promote others acheivements, to be the second fiddle or the wind against someone elses wings ( but only if I choose it - and that's another story! ) and just find ways to encourage other people most of the time at the deteriment to my own goals or sometimes even needs.

These opposing sides to my personality are a pain in the rear end to tell you the truth. I have missed out on so many opporutnites in the past decade because I didn't think that I deserved to be anything special. That by winning, obtaining my goals, even just stepping up and putting myself out there - I was somehow taking that same thing away from someone who was more deserving that I was. *sigh*

But since Round 3 I get it now and am trying really hard to balance the two sides out. Some days I am better than others but most days I am really quite worried that I am going to lose someone I care about or make another person insecure or angry or or or...whatever because I have cheerleadered for myself on facebook or in person.

Despite this I have been putting check ins and accountability status updates on my main Facebook profile about how I am doing - not all the time but apparently enough to inspire other people in my world to want to set their own goals and achieve them.

I've received a few tear worthy emails and inbox messages in the past week from people in my world tellimg me that I've inspired them to set their own fitness and nutrition goals and that has stirred up a number of emotions each time. I've found myself inspired by their acheivements and goal setting but I'm determiend not to feel like a fraud because it's seemingly taking me forever to get to get "there".

I guess it's also the little things like getting out of bed on a Wednesday morning at 5am to do that XtendBarre class when I'm not a morning person - you should see how unbalanced I am at that hour! And my ability to follow directions? Shocking! But I'm there burning calories, up for longer and my butt down with my planks and deeper in my Plies. Or posting my uber healthy dinner or acknoweldging that I do in fact eat out and enjoy it once it a while but don't go nuts and don't attach emotions it any more. Food is fuel that if I pick right tastes good. I'm moving away from the Food = A hug or Food = medicine that settles my stomach - although I did break my chip drought on the weekend and after 24 hours of my stomach churning I couldn't handle it anymore and I caved. But at least it took me 24 hours - not 2. Progress.

Inspiration comes from all sorts of places. For every one person that finds your check ins annoying or your accountability posts irritating - there are probably two who find you inspiring and another who might be annoyed but annoyed at themselves - not at you. ;)

Have a great week everyone!

Oh yes, I think my plateau has broken! Hurrah!

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Chasing Cars with Boys...

Before I start, this is going to be a very quick blog post. You will see why shortly. 

First of all, I LOST WEIGHT again..finally. As you guys know I am in the process of moving house, so all of the incidental exercise plus eating all the healthy food in my cupboard is doing me favours. It gave me the boost I needed.

Now, my title is based on the Drew Barrymore movie. It just doesn't really make sense but that's OK! Now the reason I don't have long to post today is because I have to spend my last day of Annual Leave... going to panel beaters. Edit: I went to six panel beaters, its an extensive repair, over $2000 at least. My car won't be fixed until end of August, early September...See below. 

 

Yes, my precious car got hurt. I am fine, the car was in the driveway and my housemate reversed into it. Unfortunately I am unable to get in so I have to climb through the passenger side... It's a site that's for sure. This makes me want a cheeseburger to be honest, luckily I have friends with spare cars so that helps seeing as I officially move next weekend.

I also have to apologise for being MIA. I have been here, reading your posts just been a bit of a creeper with not a lot of time. And now, because I have taken up knitting. See below lol.

 

As you can see, it's not much but that's OK. It is getting less stressful to do haha, for ages I was struggling with the casting on.

Anyways, sorry for the super short post. I really am letting you guys down this round. Apologies!

 

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Eating Clean and living in todays society.

Since starting the 12wbt at the beginning of the year, it is always my conscious endeavour to eat as cleanly as possible.
Lately, I have been noticing how it almost feels like a fart against thunder when it comes to dealing with the rest of the general population.

My main issues are sugar and grains. I am attempting to eliminate them from my food sources, but the little buggers pop up everywhere. How did we as a society get so far away from eating things as we find them in their natural state, and how, if sugar and grains, are derived from natural sources , become so detrimental to our health.

Recently someone asked me if i knew what cattle were fed to produce the most meat...um grains....well yes, and if you want to be a fat cow, then go ahead and eat your grains. Well that did it for me, I aint touching that stuff!!! haha funny how the right words can make me turn from a burgen bread fiend into leaving it out cold turkey.

Sugar, the evil stuff, seems to be everywhere and in everything and when I think I have gotten past it, the damn stuff sneaks up and is there in my face.

I cleaned out all sugar from my house. I felt great.
My husband comes home and brings himself Monte Carlo biscuits, Jam doughnuts, iced cup cakes, white bread. I feel terrible that he does not respect his body enough to not eat this stuff. I know, any nagging from me will make it even worse. It is really upsetting and i hate the stuff in my home.
What makes it worse, is that he sneaks it to my four year old daughter, almost as a bonding, because mummy does not do this.
I feel sick that he does not understand that he is poisoning our child with garbage food. Children's bodies are so pure to me, and I hate to see them filled with junk.
Unfortunately, it is the way he was brought up. His Pop always made the kids cupcakes and biscuits and lemon meringue pie. His mum makes vanilla slice and sausage rolls. In their family, their baking skills are seen as an act of love. I understand this, but I wish they could put the same love into creating nourishing food for their loved ones.

I recently had to have my say to my daughter's dance class principal. They saw it fit to give a lollipop to the preschool children after class, not once, but every week. I asked that they could not give a sticker instead, and i was met with a barrage about them not being gym instructors and weighing children like other schools and that they wanted positive body images.
My point was not that at all, it was that giving sugar was not kind to their bodies. In my thinking, they were giving the child a dangerous addictive drug with a miriad of detrimental health problems.

I can't help but also get cross about chocolates for fund raising.
I dont think anyone should be eating plain sugary junk chocolates. Organic dark chocolate in small amounts, I can accept, but not the crap. For one, I dont want 50 of them in my house, and for two, I dont have anyone i dislike enough to encourage them to put that junk into their body.
My stance was to decline to take a box home for dance school fund raising.
If I dont stand up for what I believe in, I am not being true to my values.

Hopefully by me making this stand, I can make other people more aware of what actual kindness is and how gifts of food should only be that filled with what you wish for your friends and family, and that should be good health.

My next challenge is a first and a fifth birthday party for my daughters. I do not want to slip into the tradition of poisoning friends and family. I want to take every care that I only provide what is good.
Wish me luck.
I have found some helpful tips from a lady who calls herself, "Paleo mom".
Also David Gillespie and his work called "How Much Sugar?"Is also very helpful.
http://www.howmuchsugar.com/

http://livinlavidalowcarb.com/blog/the-llvlc-show-episode-589-scientist-turned-stay-at-home-paleo-mom-sarah-ballantyne/14655

Affirmation: I am a wonderful perfect being. I only eat foods which nourish my body and enhance my health.

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Consistency

Consistency.

Consistency vs. Perfection.

Consistency when starting a new job.

Consistency when starting a new job in a setting you know nothing about.

Not particularly easy I am finding. Monday was somewhat challenging and the temptation was to come directly home, comfort eat and take to my bed however a friend suggested I go shopping.

Came home with shoes and new clothes.

Still slightly comfort ate but nothing spectacular or fried or seen on a TV ad with either a crazy clown or a weirdly bearded old dude. Nor did I bury my head in a chip packet. :P

Progress.

I need to motivate myself to be consistent.

How does one do that? You might ask?

Always. Always. Head to Pinterest.

Of course ;)

PS I would really like to refer to some fabulous person's blog but I haven't blog read for about a week. Had a four day migraine after a trip to Newcastle ( 2.5 hours there and back of car motion will do that ) and then started the new job.  Will get reading again soon.

Another reason to want to be Coke rather than Pepsi....

 And quite simply, this.

..which is kind of why I get up at 5am on a Wednesday morning to do a 6.30am Xtend Barre Class. 

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Change and the Internal Struggle

Change... I desperately wish I could avoid it at all costs. I have been crying tonight. I am going through a lot of change at the moment (OK it sounds like I am being menopausal haha).

I am moving house, again. I have moved house a lot now, I have had numerous terrible rental/share house situations. I love the people I live with at the moment, however challenging it can be.. I do love them. They are like family to me. However, one of my housemates is just a little too mean to me, too often and it does effect my confidence in a negative way, I am going to be moving back to a house I have already lived in, I wish I could explain it to you guys in more detail but I don't think it will work, hmm I should try. I am moving to a house, where my brother already lives which is great because we have lived together before, however that was early last year and we moved our separate ways because our house was robbed, which is when I moved to the house I currently live in. Before I lived with my bro, I lived at the house that I am again, about to move into and it was a very bad experience for me, I lived with a very terrible housemate, I was very depressed, lived a very 'hermit-like' life. 

I hope all that made sense....

Initially, I was excited when the opportunity came about to live their again and especially living with my brother (he was the reason I said yes, family is so important), because I was unhappy in my current living situation (housemates gf moved in and she has made things much better).. but now I have been there, and the house is so cold and empty. There is furniture already there, but it just brings up memories I don't enjoy. The other thing.. my brother has a fly in, fly out job. So he will literally be there maybe a few days a month and it has taken me so long to feel comfortable after us being robbed, that I have taken a major step backwards. 


So, on the other hand, I will be paying the same, I will have more space and further away from take away food and I will see my family a bit more. Anyways, on top of all of this. I start uni next month, and I turn 27 which is kind of a scary age for me because I feel so unaccomplished and so alone and my scales don't seem to be accurate, my body measurements are still going well though so I am trying to stay positive. I think the scales may not be accurate because of the uneven floors in the bathroom.

All of this is in my head right this very second plus heaps more. I feel like I can't fit everything in, I can't focus on my body right now it's so exhausting. I haven't had time for facebook, to check how you guys are, I feel horrendous about that. I am definitely punishing myself at the moment, but I am hopeful things will improve. I just hope they do.

Thanks guys, if you guys can offer any advice that would be great. 

Hot Tip: When I apply foundation, I apply it over primer usually depending on the day but once I finish putting on my liquid foundation, put a translucent powder over the top to set it. Makes your makeup last A LOT longer!

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Events!! The new craze ;)

Have you caught the bug yet?
What bug? I hear you ask?......The signing up for EVENTS bug?
You may have been a newbie just signing up for the program and seeing on the forums and facebook all these crazy 12WBTers, competeing in or getting the hype over certain events.

Back in November 2011 when I first signed up, the buzz was all over the place about the impending Warrior Dash. My heart skipped a beat, and I actually thought for a second that I seriously was in the wrong place if I was meant to be part of a group that thought running, jumping, through, mud and fire was any sort of fun, especially in the heat of summer....CRAZY!!!!!!

So, now we are in Round 2 2012 and are actually on the down hill slope and many of you out there have taken the plunge and got your money out to prove to yourself, that you too can do these things, just like your sisters and brothers before you who have gone and come back to tell the story.

Hell Hill, Tough Bloke Challenge, Tough Mudder, Warrior Dash, The Stampede in the Valley, The Blue Mountain stairs, City 2 Surf, Triathlon Pinkie, Mothers Day Classic,Colour Run and many other runs attatched to the word FUN. All of a sudden I am finding the mere suggestions are being met with pants wetting excitement, instead of pants soiling terror. The chance to experience something new is now an adventure, and an opportunity to say yet again to myself..., "Yes Chicky, you are bloody awesome".

We all have what it takes to have a go at these sorts of things. If you are sitting back in fear, I do suggest you pick one as a goal, for just one go. More than anything, you will find the spirit of the game just about as inspiring and rewarding as the individual effort. Feel the love of being worthy and included, and the joy of conquering your own limiting beliefs.

With one event down for me this year and two more on the calendar, I have gained these tidbits of advice and knowledge :

* For mud events, wear clothes you indend to throw away after. Yes, I did manage to salvage mine, but I am still finding mud in my laundry two weeks later and I now wish I had not bought that mud home.

*Wear close fitting clothes, as mud makes lose clothes a burden. This includes pants. Wearing my old size 16 leggings because I did not want to keep them was one thing, but spending the second half of the course walking because my pants were so heavy they kept going south, was not part of the plan :S

* For City 2 Surf, beware of the drink stations, do not attempt to run past as it becomes very slippery and there are cups to avoid as well as people.

* Just because everyone else is, does not mean you have to enter every event that comes up. Yes, it can get very expensive. You can always set up your very own challenges to do whenever you are free.
eg.Find a set of stairs, and set yourself a time limit or an amount of laps and go crazy. Do it with a friend or alone.

*For City 2 Surf, keep one of your fat jumpers that you can donate to charity when you take it off at the beginning of the race :) The Girl Guides collect them and you wont get them back so one you dont need any longer would be fantastic :)

Anyway,
good luck all for any events you have coming up...and if you are sitting there thinking that you would like to be a part of this adventure seeking disease, I cordially invite you to step right up.

Affirmation:
YES I CAN!!!

Hugs
Carly

LINKS :

http://www.city2surf.com.au/ZUSER/SN_michellebridges-tip1%20(2).pdf

http://thestampede.com.au/
http://www.mudrun.com.au/

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My dream outfit

One of my favourite episodes on The Biggest Loser, is when the contestants show us their dream outfits and their makeovers.

Image via HERE.

My dream outfit, is very sentimental to me. It's my first designer dress and happens to be an Alannah Hill design (she's my favourite Australian designer). My husband bought this dress for me for my birthday and I remember thinking that there would be no way it would fit me...but when I put it on, it fit and I felt like a princess. I've only worn this dress maybe two or three times (about 5 - 6 years ago) and I long to wear it again.

So here it is...my DREAM OUTFIT...

What is your dream outfit?

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Videos

Hey everyone , hope you are all well.
I was going through my you tube favorites yesterday and I found this video in here , I remember how it made me feel so motivated even thought there is no talking just music and photos :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ws-yl37lWE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

And this video is just a few quotes with some music behind it :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5KYmjwQ2K8&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Keep up all the hard work guys :]

Kristin xxx

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