When you just can't want to.

I have been laughing for years over a friend's little girl who adopted the phrase, "I can't want to!"
I took it on as my own, and lately I have been feeling like using it quite a bit.

Is it the weather?

Maybe it is the dismal, dull days that take my mind into a somewhat somber state that craves satisfaction, and joy. Old habits kick in and I am cruising the cupboards. New habits also kick in and i am reaching for a herbal tea before sitting back down, but those taste buds wont be fooled.

I NEED A SNACK WITH FLAVOUR!!!

A peppermint tea, a green tea with jasmine, a Devine Diva tea, 2 x dark choc coated probiotic balls.....yes I am even stooping to medication for a flavour!!!
A straight up black tea, and then I give in and get out the rice cakes. So I am spending the calories, and it needs flavour so I chuck on a half of a  banana....hmmm not bad.
Let's make another...oh crap, now those snack cals are adding up, and maybe I should have had a tuna so a protein snack may have stuck around longer.... :(
This is what happens if I am not out of the house all day exercising.

So am I turning into a new breed of crazy woman?

The old crazy version of myself obsessed over an immaculate house and a decent tv show to watch, and ate freely at each ad break.

The new me , can't be arsed to clean the house since everything hurts from training, obsesses over children well enough to leave the house so I can spend all morning at the gym, and all afternoon at the coffee shop planning out my next dinner before hitting the grocery store.If I am not occupied like that, I am back to the cupboard creeping. Well on the plus size side, I did my preseason task and the binge worthy stuff in my house is hardly damaging, but it that is not the point.

Anyone else out there feeling a tad obsessive, and on the verve of a "can't want to" moment, where the effort to control yourself seems too frickin strong to control.

I am hoping this is not my true self about to be the saboteur, since she is feeling like her wings have been clipped and is jack of the robot mode I have created for her.
Don't get me wrong. Without creating this momentum, I would still be a fatty eating in front of the tv and I know my true self was not happy like that, but this new crazy woman is not it either.

I'm just gonna call it a case of the "Round 2's".
There is no wagon I am about to fall off.
I just think my ferrari is out of gas, and they only have standard at the pump....just sitting pretty until the premium unleaded arrives :)

Affirmation: I am in the right place at the right time. All is WELL in MY World :)


Carly